The Rosa Parks of Rosa Parks Blogs

Dead babies, dead babies, dead babies! Guys, abortion, let’s talk dead babies. Like, did you know that ultrasounds are a secrety weapon of the pro-life movement? Because, bitch-ass preggos can actually see what their baby looks like and presumably won’t want to kill them? And, yes, in that way, ultrasounds are the ROSA PARKS of almost-dead babies.

FONSTANCE (yes, you can abbreve “for instance”):

The unspoken message of the ultrasound is clear to all with an open heart: “I’m human—just like you.”

It was the same message of Harriet Beecher Stowe whose novel “Uncle Tom’s Cabin” made the horrors of slavery impossible to ignore. It was the message of Rosa Parks who awakened a slumbering country to the evils of racism by the simple act of sitting down. It is the message of the victims and the oppressed throughout our history: “”I’m human—just like you.”

Dead baby rodeo!

Thassssssssss right! Let’s all say a prayer for martyred freedom fighter Glenn Beck. He’s like RP — just ASK HIM.

GLENN BECK PONTIFICATING HEREEEEEEEEEEEEE. Let’s party!

Oh Rosa Parks Prostidude, we hardly knew ye! Back of the shady ladies no more.

Everytime a teabagger pontificates a gay has sex in a bath house!

A whole lot of gays had sex in a bath house after this interview with Nevadian Jon Scott Ashjian about his delicious tea party express! Sassy!

“We’re going to show up. We are the Tea Party of Nevada. We may be the Rosa Parks that’s not allowed on the bus, but we have our own bus. You can write that.”

And we did write that. And it was good. Not gay bath house sex good, but, you know, good.

Theater gays! Just like RP!

The heirs of Jonathan Larson finally have addressed the claims of Lynn Thomson regarding credit, royalties, and other issues concerning her participation in the writing and rewriting of Rent’s script. … This marks the successful end of a heroic battle by a dramaturg who rightfully has been called the “Rosa Parks” of the theatre industry. Like Parks, Lynn Thomson refused to give up her place, either on the title page or in the royalty pool.

Rob Lowe had sex with an underage girl when R. Kelly was underage (ROB LOWE IS OLD). “Define teenage,” he said. Then, before P.Hilton, Tommy Lee, etc, a tape of Rob Lowe doing nasty thinsg got out. Which is why Rob Lowe is:

“The Rosa Parks of leaked celebrity porn, Lowe would become the first star whose pubic…sorry, “public” persona actually benefited from something hitherto considered taboo”

Doing it first! Doing it better! Doing it underage-ier!

This guy Nick Bonatsakis made an iPHONE app that was like the friggin’ Jersey Shore duck phone. I’m on that, guys. BUT! Apple would not let him sell it (minimal user functionality, whatever.). And so, herein lies your new cause celebre:

“A line has been crossed. When a man can’t bring his duck app to to market because of a capricious decision by a fixie-riding Californian App Store Review Team Member in a tight t-shirt and jeans ensemble then a man needs to do something. God speed you, Nick, and your duck app. Don’t give up on this. You can be the Rosa Parks of duck apps.”

This horrible metaphor does not take time off for Black History Month. Hells no.

Because Baltimore doesn’t have enough problems, they also have this lady who ordained a couple of other ladies in the Catholic Church. Whoops relig.

“Good!” Bridget Mary Meehan, one of five American bishops in the international Roman Catholic Womenpriests movement, told the Sarasota Herald Tribune. “They’re upping the ante. People will have to be courageous to support us and that is what this is about. Like our sister Rosa Parks, we refuse to sit on the back of the bus any longer.”

That bus being the bus that keeps the other ladies from riding the abortion train. Or whatever.

Kevin Smith is a fatty, but is he the RP of fatties? Battling airline seats that attempt to cage his fat.

It’s generally difficult to listen to millionaires rage about injustices they suffer. “C’mon, you’re not Rosa Parks”, I mutter to myself. Then today I see that he’s challenging Southwest Air to bring the airplane seat to “The Daily Show” and if he can’t fit in it he’ll donate $10,000 to charity. I rolled my eyes and applauded the videogum post this morning, “Kevin, give the money to charity and get on with your life”.

That’s what she (your mom) said.

It’s true, RP totally hates your kids, almost as much as you do:

“Local attorney Leon Koziol today compared his failure to pay child support for the last two years to the acts of civil disobedience carried out by such figures as Rosa Parks.

“Susan B. Anthony, Martin Luther King Jr. The people who went to the front of the bus. What did they do? They violated the law, and it sent a great message,” Koziol said.”

Ralph Nader wants to align himself with RP, so saying he wrote an article that went a little something like this. It takes two poops to make a thing go right:

“In our country, we need the Rosa Parks of rebellion against gas and drug prices, home foreclosures, cruel prison conditions, huge up-front payments before entering hospitals, junk, obesity-illness-producing food, and breakdowns in municipal services.”

Just like in our country we need the Ralph Nader of zzzzzzzz….

It’s like, every time I walk by a Spencer’s Gifts or a Hot Topic or a Journeys, I think, what did we do before we could buy faux vintage Converge tees from bemulletted teens? There but for the Buffys and Angels GO I. I MEAN REALLY.

This is why it’s apropos that Joss Whedon, “Buffy” HBIC, etc, has been called “the Rosa Parks of Sci-Fi.” If ever there was one.

Stay gold, JW.

Well, okay, this one is sort of sarcastic, but whatevs: Deadspin calls the New Orleans kid who got sent home from school for wearing a Colts jersey on Saint’s Day and his God-loving dads the “Rosa Parks of meaningless shit.”

Football man, important junk. Go team!

Pulling my own Jew card here — not going to pretend like I understand anything happening in the next paragraph. Catholics! Craze!

“This program explores how King Saul has been misunderstood and given a bum rap. King Saul was unjustly punished by the Lord for not waiting for Samuel to arrive and he offered the sacrifices himself, an act then prohibited. We can understand King Saul’s yearning for the priesthood and the fact that there was inequality in that those who were not from the Levitical tribe were banned from the priesthood. Father McBrien explains the modern parallels where women yearning to become priests are denied equality with the tribe of men. King Saul was really the Rosa Parks of priestly ordination. King Saul’s disobedience to the Lord was punished where instead he should have been celebrated for having followed his conscience and meaning well. King Saul also supported dialogue in that he was willing even to have the Witch of Endor call up the spirit of the prophet Samuel to dialogue with.”

Oh wait, hey, witches? Y’all did not tell me you believed in witches. SIGN ME UP!

Connie Szefczek received a zillion telemarketing calls from her local newspaper even after she told them to quit it, so she sued them and won (NICE JOB! BIG WIN!). Then Dateline NBC did a humans interest story on her and called her (yes, really):

“the “Rosa Parks” of the anti- telemarketing movement.”

Journalism! Win!

My brain feels all twisty and hurty when I think about this one:

“Carrie Prejean is basically the Rosa Parks of the antigay right.”

This old bag would not just sit at the back of the old lady death bus wearing the depends and drinking the metamucil like all the other rich ladies who married crappy small-dicked football players. And so!

“He told me, ‘For me, and I’ve read some of your letters, I’ve decided I’m going to call you the Rosa Parks of the NFL retired group,’” Suzie recalled with a laugh. “And I felt like that was quite a compliment, and he said, ‘You wouldn’t sit down, shut up, and you darn sure didn’t go to the back of the bus!’”

Huh? What? Right? Right.

Laurie Hall could not get her damned hubby to stop watching the pornos, and so while he was busy jerking off she wrote a book about it, and for that:

“Laurie Hall is the Rosa Parks of women dealing with porn addiction.”

Genius marketing program, lady! GENIUS!