December 2010
2 posts
3 tags
“Rand Paul: The Rosa Parks of big business. He’s not gonna sit on the back...”
– Rand Paul feels strongly about bleeding oil rigs annnnnnd not wearing pants.
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Abortion, Rosa Parks, Ultrasounds, OH MY
Dead babies, dead babies, dead babies! Guys, abortion, let’s talk dead babies. Like, did you know that ultrasounds are a secrety weapon of the pro-life movement? Because, bitch-ass preggos can actually see what their baby looks like and presumably won’t want to kill them? And, yes, in that way, ultrasounds are the ROSA PARKS of almost-dead babies.
FONSTANCE (yes, you can abbreve...
April 2010
1 post
3 tags
Oppression Thy Name is GLENN BECK!
Thassssssssss right! Let’s all say a prayer for martyred freedom fighter Glenn Beck. He’s like RP — just ASK HIM.
GLENN BECK PONTIFICATING HEREEEEEEEEEEEEE. Let’s party!
March 2010
5 posts
4 tags
No More Markus for You: Another Civil Rights...
Oh Rosa Parks Prostidude, we hardly knew ye! Back of the shady ladies no more.
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John Scott Ashjian is Helping Angels Get Their Gay...
Everytime a teabagger pontificates a gay has sex in a bath house!
A whole lot of gays had sex in a bath house after this interview with Nevadian Jon Scott Ashjian about his delicious tea party express! Sassy!
“We’re going to show up. We are the Tea Party of Nevada. We may be the Rosa Parks that’s not allowed on the bus, but we have our own bus. You can write that.”
And...
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525,600 minutes of RP
Theater gays! Just like RP!
The heirs of Jonathan Larson finally have addressed the claims of Lynn Thomson regarding credit, royalties, and other issues concerning her participation in the writing and rewriting of Rent’s script. … This marks the successful end of a heroic battle by a dramaturg who rightfully has been called the “Rosa Parks” of the theatre industry. Like Parks, Lynn Thomson...
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Rob Lowe, You're the Statuatory Rapist of Freedom
Rob Lowe had sex with an underage girl when R. Kelly was underage (ROB LOWE IS OLD). “Define teenage,” he said. Then, before P.Hilton, Tommy Lee, etc, a tape of Rob Lowe doing nasty thinsg got out. Which is why Rob Lowe is:
“The Rosa Parks of leaked celebrity porn, Lowe would become the first star whose pubic…sorry, “public” persona actually benefited from...
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Snooks forever -- RP of duck phones. YES.
This guy Nick Bonatsakis made an iPHONE app that was like the friggin’ Jersey Shore duck phone. I’m on that, guys. BUT! Apple would not let him sell it (minimal user functionality, whatever.). And so, herein lies your new cause celebre:
“A line has been crossed. When a man can’t bring his duck app to to market because of a capricious decision by a fixie-riding Californian App...
February 2010
13 posts
1 tag
WatchRP is seriously anti-SODOMY.
Trust. So says Barbara Davis White. AND SHE KNOWS THINGS.
“We hear comparisons between same sex marriage and equality and discrimination…Rosa Parks didn’t move to the front of the bus to support sodomy.”
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The RP of Catholocism
This horrible metaphor does not take time off for Black History Month. Hells no.
Because Baltimore doesn’t have enough problems, they also have this lady who ordained a couple of other ladies in the Catholic Church. Whoops relig.
“Good!” Bridget Mary Meehan, one of five American bishops in the international Roman Catholic Womenpriests movement, told the Sarasota Herald...
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Yo, shit just got meta:
Kevin Smith is a fatty, but is he the RP of fatties? Battling airline seats that attempt to cage his fat.
It’s generally difficult to listen to millionaires rage about injustices they suffer. “C’mon, you’re not Rosa Parks”, I mutter to myself. Then today I see that he’s challenging Southwest Air to bring the airplane seat to “The Daily Show” and if...
RP would have been a deadbeat dad, too
It’s true, RP totally hates your kids, almost as much as you do:
“Local attorney Leon Koziol today compared his failure to pay child support for the last two years to the acts of civil disobedience carried out by such figures as Rosa Parks.
“Susan B. Anthony, Martin Luther King Jr. The people who went to the front of the bus. What did they do? They violated the law, and it...
Mr. Ralph Nader drops a truth bomb
Ralph Nader wants to align himself with RP, so saying he wrote an article that went a little something like this. It takes two poops to make a thing go right:
“In our country, we need the Rosa Parks of rebellion against gas and drug prices, home foreclosures, cruel prison conditions, huge up-front payments before entering hospitals, junk, obesity-illness-producing food, and breakdowns in...
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Joss Whedon, the mall goth RP
It’s like, every time I walk by a Spencer’s Gifts or a Hot Topic or a Journeys, I think, what did we do before we could buy faux vintage Converge tees from bemulletted teens? There but for the Buffys and Angels GO I. I MEAN REALLY.
This is why it’s apropos that Joss Whedon, “Buffy” HBIC, etc, has been called “the Rosa Parks of Sci-Fi.” If ever there was...
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Oh look, it's a baby genius!
Well, okay, this one is sort of sarcastic, but whatevs: Deadspin calls the New Orleans kid who got sent home from school for wearing a Colts jersey on Saint’s Day and his God-loving dads the “Rosa Parks of meaningless shit.”
Football man, important junk. Go team!
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Catholics and witches and RP, oh my!
Pulling my own Jew card here — not going to pretend like I understand anything happening in the next paragraph. Catholics! Craze!
“This program explores how King Saul has been misunderstood and given a bum rap. King Saul was unjustly punished by the Lord for not waiting for Samuel to arrive and he offered the sacrifices himself, an act then prohibited. We can understand King...
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Dateline NBC, keep taking that journalism thing...
Connie Szefczek received a zillion telemarketing calls from her local newspaper even after she told them to quit it, so she sued them and won (NICE JOB! BIG WIN!). Then Dateline NBC did a humans interest story on her and called her (yes, really):
“the “Rosa Parks” of the anti- telemarketing movement.”
Journalism! Win!
Girls just wanna ... take down the gaytriarchy
My brain feels all twisty and hurty when I think about this one:
“Carrie Prejean is basically the Rosa Parks of the antigay right.”
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Congrats! Your husband died! You're a pioneer!
This old bag would not just sit at the back of the old lady death bus wearing the depends and drinking the metamucil like all the other rich ladies who married crappy small-dicked football players. And so!
“He told me, ‘For me, and I’ve read some of your letters, I’ve decided I’m going to call you the Rosa Parks of the NFL retired group,’” Suzie recalled with a laugh. “And I felt like that was...
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Here RP, Have Some Classy Lucite Heels
Laurie Hall could not get her damned hubby to stop watching the pornos, and so while he was busy jerking off she wrote a book about it, and for that:
“Laurie Hall is the Rosa Parks of women dealing with porn addiction.”
Genius marketing program, lady! GENIUS!
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Love Lift Koz Up Where We Belong
So smooth, so smooth — and yet —
“For a few months after Dave Koz began his weekday morning DJ stint on 94.7 KTWV The Wave in the Spring of 2001, pals in the local music community teased him with an off-color joke. They called him the “Rosa Parks of smooth jazz,” because his face was on the back of every bus in Los Angeles. Seems you couldn’t go anywhere in the city without...
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Gaby Union is Rosa Parks, Steve Urkel is MLK
Gabrielle Union played the love interest of ROSS and JOEY on “FRIENDS” in the early 90s and that launched her career as Must See TV.
“When I took that part,” she says, “a show I was on, ‘City of Angels,’ on another large network, had just been canceled on Monday. I started work on ‘Friends’ on Thursday. I just wanted to be sure my Visa bill...
January 2010
32 posts
Back that back up to the back of the blah blah...
I guess some people hate chiropractors and consider it a bunk physical health science. So! They put up anti-chiropractory billboards and BACK OF THE BUS ads .
Chiropractors did not like that so much — and brave face fought against it!
“Rondberg likened the battle to the civil rights movement of the ‘60s. “Selma, Alabama is where the civil rights movement began. It started with a...
Oh (sigh) Canada
Canadians seem so mellow (Jason Priestly is Canadian! Brendan Fraser, Canadian!), but it turns out that besides being socialists they’re also NUDISTS.
And it’s all thanks to this harlot teenager named Gwen Jacobs — “who is the Rosa Parks of Canadian nudism.”
What a skank.
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Thanks dudes!
Thanks for all the love via GQ, Jezebel and Buzzfeed! Youuuuu guyzzzzz!
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Eighteen Visions of ERACISM
A RP superfan directed me to the website of crap metal band 18 Visions, who quaffed a strong cup of haterade when they were in Glasgow and were turned away from an Internet cafe (ostensibly because they were a crap metal band.)
“this is the first time we have ever been discriminated against….it was a weird feeling. i really felt like rosa parks getting told to move to the back of...
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Arthur Kade -- a true freedom fighter!
Being the world’s biggest d-bag is a monumental uphill battle. You have to work at it every day, am I right guys?
That’s why Internet celebrity Mr. Arthur Kade, most important actor, likens his struggle to be a crucial actor for all times to that of RP.
“So today, I decided to change some habits and get back to basics, and took the $15 “Bolt Bus” to NYC (Instead of the ultra...
4 tags
Ernestine Bayer will paddle your ass
Rowing guys, nobody would sit at the back of the boat bus if this lady had her way. That is why she is the RP of
“the movement to establish women’s rowing as a sport. During the 1930s the male rowing establishment told Ernestine Bayer she couldn’t row because she was a woman. So she established a woman’s boat club and then in the 1960s took the first U.S. women’s eight to France to...
2 tags
The RP of "womensports"
This woman invented fucking SKI BALLET. What did RP ever do ?
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She's like the wind
Make no mistake:
“The Cape Wind project is the Rosa Parks of the wind movement in the US.”
No, I'M the R.P. of butt sex
Debate over.
Some gay guy in Canada complained that he was discriminated against when he tried to give blood. So this right wing Canadian (REDUNDANT PHRASING J/K) called him the “RP of butt sex.”
But sads, that title’s already taken.
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Markus the Prostidude
We’re sure having sex with old hags for money is no pleasure walk. Howevs, it’s not particularly accurate to say your new awesome gigolo job is
“just the same as when Rosa Parks decided to sit at the front instead of the back. She was proclaiming her rights as a disadvantaged, African-American older woman. And I’m doing the same. I’m actually standing up now, and...
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Ellen is the Rosa Parks of American Idol judges
Ellen will stand up next to Simon, Randy and that other one in the face of adversity.
“She couldn’t have been a more perfect pioneer. Think about what it would have been like if Rosie O’Donnell had been the first out of the closet.
Ellen is the Rosa Parks of TV entertainment.”
Thank god we found an acceptable lesbian, guys!
Does this tie dye make me look fat?
This seventeen year-old kid smoked some weed in his high school class. Now NORML is all “YOU ARE THE ROSA PARKS OF SMOKING WEED.” Meanwhile, get a haircut.
This is so not a joke, jerks.
Raw milk, people! Won’t someone think of the raw milk?!? Thankfully Mark Nolt is. He is “the Rosa Parks of Raw Milk.”
“This issue has very little to do with raw milk and health, and everything to do with freedom.”
MMA fighter Nick Diaz is supes like R.P.
Nick Diaz is fighting for his right to smoke weed and also fight dudes in the UFC. This is why his bud Caesar Gracie calls him a hero among men because he won’t give us his weed just because it violates UFC rules. Problemz!
“What can you do, man?” Gracie said of the CSAC policy. “Rosa Parks wasn’t supposed to ride in the front of the bus. She was supposed to be in...
Not believing in evolution is just like fighting...
Which is why “Bueller, Bueller, Bueller” guy and host of “Win Ben Stein’s Money” (NOT REALLY BEN STEIN’S MONEY!) has been called THE ROSA PARKS OF DARWIN SKEPTICS.
Mr. Kevin Wirth sayz:
Years ago Rosa Parks got on a bus and sat where she shouldn’t have - a form of protest letting the world know she’d had enough. Ben Stein, about as unlikely a...
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This lady would not sit at the back of the crazy...
That’s why she’s been called the ROSA PARKS OF ELECTROSHOCK.
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Little Known Fact
Rosa Parks loved indie rock dudes with receding hairlines and small weens. Like this guy. Who calls himself THE ROSA PARKS OF MUSIC. Nice band name, Myspace user.
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Terry Schiavo rode that bus, hard
Get ready for the longest metaphor evs:
“Terri Schiavo might very well become the Rosa Parks of a widespread reaction to years of pent-up frustration with a political system that is beyond the powers of the citizenry to effectively control; a system that has consistently denied self-ownership and insisted upon metastasizing its control over the lives of everyone.”
Too bad Terri...
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Terrell Owens, the SF 49ers were keeping you down...
It’s so true, it totally blows when you are stuck in a huge contract and expected to play football and then you are like ROSA PARKS and everybody is just riding your very expensive sports jock strap (NO HOMO).
Katherine Harris is a true Rosa Parks patriot!
“In France it was Joan of Arc; in the Crimea it was Florence Nightingale; in the deep south there was Rosa Parks; in India there was Mother Teresa and in Florida there was Katherine Harris,” — Larry Gatlin, introducing the Florida Secretary of State to an adoring crowd at the Florida Inaugural Ball.
Let’s trade make up tips and do our hair and you can tell me what it...
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Gunman Jose Varela is the Rosa Parks of Gunmen
Everybody always forgets the time that Rosa Parks totally had a sniper gun on Colin Farrell who was stuck in a phone booth with no way out, but whatevs cos Colin Farrell was totally cheating on his wife with Pam, that whore.
It was exactly like the time that editorial cartoonist Jose Varela took over the newsroom at the Miami Herald with a gun because he wanted the executive editor to resign....
Rosa Parks would have killed a deer too, okay?
Do you know that aside from civil rights, Rosa Parks also fought in favor of deer baiting during hunting season? Just because there is this little deer bating ban thing doesn’t mean that you should follow it. I mean, WHAT WOULD ROSA PARKS DO? She would kill some deer, no duhz.
Yes the DNR imposed baiting ban is now a law - you cannot bait deer in the lower peninsula. Do we follow this...
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Steve Myers will zone the shit out of you
Steve Myers will fight for your rights. But only if your rights are regarding specifically zoning issues in Baton Rouge, LA. Otherwise, you’re fucked. Steve, you are a patriot!
“I’m the Rosa Parks of Baton Rouge zoning,” he said. “Rosa Parks violated the law when the law was wrong.”
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Et tu, Girls Gone Wild?
Mr. Joe Francis — Entrepreneur, Auteur. Provocateur. And oh, yes, Rosa Parksian, too. One can only hope that had Ms. Parks and Mr. Francis met, she too, would have lifted her flimsy top to freedom.
That’s how it works, right?
“Fuck yeah, I’m defiant! It’s like that defiant Rosa Parks won’t give up her seat. Fuck you, Maria. The ever defiant Nelson Mandela...
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Thank you, gambling addicted friend
Thanks gambling chat room user “themaroon,” for putting your ass on the line for all of us. Without you, we wouldn’t get our payouts in time. We’d all be extending our credit wayyyyy beyond its already stretched limit, and we’d all be forced to sell our sister/kid into white (no duhz) slavery.
But thanks to you, and your call for a boycott of poker site Absolute, I...
We probably shouldn't expect much from a girl...
Then again, she did write this:
Did someone say to Rosa Parks “hey lady its just a bus seat.” Probably, but now look at her! I’m the Rosa Parks of organized groups going on vacation!
p.s. And yes, this post was about her inalienable right to eat as many eggs as she wanted. Saying.
Kathy Jager likes to run, is just like Rosa Parks
Grandma sprinter and all around old lady sea hag Kathy Jager got in trouble a few years ago for supposedly doping up during her track meets. But! Jager claimed that actually she wasn’t using LAS DROGAS but instead it was just her HORMONES that were effing with her mandated pre-run drug tests. Even so, she was banned from competing in her grandma sports for two years. SAD GRANDMA!
...