Kevin Smith is a fatty, but is he the RP of fatties? Battling airline seats that attempt to cage his fat.

It’s generally difficult to listen to millionaires rage about injustices they suffer. “C’mon, you’re not Rosa Parks”, I mutter to myself. Then today I see that he’s challenging Southwest Air to bring the airplane seat to “The Daily Show” and if he can’t fit in it he’ll donate $10,000 to charity. I rolled my eyes and applauded the videogum post this morning, “Kevin, give the money to charity and get on with your life”.

That’s what she (your mom) said.

It’s true, RP totally hates your kids, almost as much as you do:

“Local attorney Leon Koziol today compared his failure to pay child support for the last two years to the acts of civil disobedience carried out by such figures as Rosa Parks.

“Susan B. Anthony, Martin Luther King Jr. The people who went to the front of the bus. What did they do? They violated the law, and it sent a great message,” Koziol said.”

Ralph Nader wants to align himself with RP, so saying he wrote an article that went a little something like this. It takes two poops to make a thing go right:

“In our country, we need the Rosa Parks of rebellion against gas and drug prices, home foreclosures, cruel prison conditions, huge up-front payments before entering hospitals, junk, obesity-illness-producing food, and breakdowns in municipal services.”

Just like in our country we need the Ralph Nader of zzzzzzzz….

It’s like, every time I walk by a Spencer’s Gifts or a Hot Topic or a Journeys, I think, what did we do before we could buy faux vintage Converge tees from bemulletted teens? There but for the Buffys and Angels GO I. I MEAN REALLY.

This is why it’s apropos that Joss Whedon, “Buffy” HBIC, etc, has been called “the Rosa Parks of Sci-Fi.” If ever there was one.

Stay gold, JW.

Well, okay, this one is sort of sarcastic, but whatevs: Deadspin calls the New Orleans kid who got sent home from school for wearing a Colts jersey on Saint’s Day and his God-loving dads the “Rosa Parks of meaningless shit.”

Football man, important junk. Go team!

Pulling my own Jew card here — not going to pretend like I understand anything happening in the next paragraph. Catholics! Craze!

“This program explores how King Saul has been misunderstood and given a bum rap. King Saul was unjustly punished by the Lord for not waiting for Samuel to arrive and he offered the sacrifices himself, an act then prohibited. We can understand King Saul’s yearning for the priesthood and the fact that there was inequality in that those who were not from the Levitical tribe were banned from the priesthood. Father McBrien explains the modern parallels where women yearning to become priests are denied equality with the tribe of men. King Saul was really the Rosa Parks of priestly ordination. King Saul’s disobedience to the Lord was punished where instead he should have been celebrated for having followed his conscience and meaning well. King Saul also supported dialogue in that he was willing even to have the Witch of Endor call up the spirit of the prophet Samuel to dialogue with.”

Oh wait, hey, witches? Y’all did not tell me you believed in witches. SIGN ME UP!

Connie Szefczek received a zillion telemarketing calls from her local newspaper even after she told them to quit it, so she sued them and won (NICE JOB! BIG WIN!). Then Dateline NBC did a humans interest story on her and called her (yes, really):

“the “Rosa Parks” of the anti- telemarketing movement.”

Journalism! Win!

My brain feels all twisty and hurty when I think about this one:

“Carrie Prejean is basically the Rosa Parks of the antigay right.”

This old bag would not just sit at the back of the old lady death bus wearing the depends and drinking the metamucil like all the other rich ladies who married crappy small-dicked football players. And so!

“He told me, ‘For me, and I’ve read some of your letters, I’ve decided I’m going to call you the Rosa Parks of the NFL retired group,’” Suzie recalled with a laugh. “And I felt like that was quite a compliment, and he said, ‘You wouldn’t sit down, shut up, and you darn sure didn’t go to the back of the bus!’”

Huh? What? Right? Right.

Laurie Hall could not get her damned hubby to stop watching the pornos, and so while he was busy jerking off she wrote a book about it, and for that:

“Laurie Hall is the Rosa Parks of women dealing with porn addiction.”

Genius marketing program, lady! GENIUS!