Grandma sprinter and all around old lady sea hag Kathy Jager got in trouble a few years ago for supposedly doping up during her track meets. But! Jager claimed that actually she wasn’t using LAS DROGAS but instead it was just her HORMONES that were effing with her mandated pre-run drug tests. Even so, she was banned from competing in her grandma sports for two years. SAD GRANDMA!

“It made me into a protester, I’m the Rosa Parks of masters sports,” she said.