Dead babies, dead babies, dead babies! Guys, abortion, let’s talk dead babies. Like, did you know that ultrasounds are a secrety weapon of the pro-life movement? Because, bitch-ass preggos can actually see what their baby looks like and presumably won’t want to kill them? And, yes, in that way, ultrasounds are the ROSA PARKS of almost-dead babies.

FONSTANCE (yes, you can abbreve “for instance”):

The unspoken message of the ultrasound is clear to all with an open heart: “I’m human—just like you.”

It was the same message of Harriet Beecher Stowe whose novel “Uncle Tom’s Cabin” made the horrors of slavery impossible to ignore. It was the message of Rosa Parks who awakened a slumbering country to the evils of racism by the simple act of sitting down. It is the message of the victims and the oppressed throughout our history: “”I’m human—just like you.”

Dead baby rodeo!

Thassssssssss right! Let’s all say a prayer for martyred freedom fighter Glenn Beck. He’s like RP — just ASK HIM.

GLENN BECK PONTIFICATING HEREEEEEEEEEEEEE. Let’s party!

Get ready for the longest metaphor evs:

“Terri Schiavo might very well become the Rosa Parks of a widespread reaction to years of pent-up frustration with a political system that is beyond the powers of the citizenry to effectively control; a system that has consistently denied self-ownership and insisted upon metastasizing its control over the lives of everyone.”

Too bad Terri Schiavo isn’t getting on any bus any time soon! Whooooooops!

Thank you, Arizona State University student Jason Stramaglia, for comparing the plight of the maligned skateboarder to that of Ms. Parks. Especially in the great state of Arizona, which loves some civil rights.

“I feel like I’m the Rosa Parks of skateboarding,” he said.

Dear Kenneth R. Conklin,

Running for the coveted position of office of Hawaiian Affairs was probably hard, but it was not Rosa Parks hard. Rosa Parks was a civil rights hero. You’re just a white guy who wanted a cushy government job and then sued like a whiny little bitch when you didn’t get your way.

Okay, maybe you’re right!