Thanks gambling chat room user “themaroon,” for putting your ass on the line for all of us. Without you, we wouldn’t get our payouts in time. We’d all be extending our credit wayyyyy beyond its already stretched limit, and we’d all be forced to sell our sister/kid into white (no duhz) slavery.

But thanks to you, and your call for a boycott of poker site Absolute, I can truly say that you are, like you say you are, “the Rosa Parks of online poker, staying in my seat so we can all get cash outs in a reasonable amount of time.”